"We love you, Conrad. Oh, yes we do."

I heard it for the first time in forever today, that song, and Jesus, I wasn't missing it. I get it, I really do, and, don't get me wrong, I appreciate the love, just not at my day job. Conrad is a fun character and I can see how he could be memorable, when played by the right person, a good actor. But, that wasn't me, not ever, and especially not my senior year of high school. Cripes, I was hungover for at least one of the performances.

So, let us let it go, ok? I don't do much stage work these days, as much as it gnaws at my need for attention. I write now and if you have happened to have seen and, God forbid, like my portrayal of Mr. Conrad Birdie, then please, don't thank me by singing, thank me by buying a copy of my book. (You knew I'd get around to it.)

Besides, my Piney was so much better.