Like the idiots do on message boards; FIRST!

Yay! We have a new governor, Mr. Patrick Joseph Quinn, let us sit back and watch as nothing still gets done.

What I can't wait for is the inevitable run in he has with the Madigan's when he does something they don't like. It'll be just like the good ol' days.

So, in the nature of the way we're heading, let me be the first to call for the immediate resignation or, if need be, impeachment, of Gov. Quinn. Sure, he's never been convicted, and we don't have any real evidence of wrongdoing, but it's not like that's stopped us before. Quick, someone tap his phones...

Meanwhile, if you watch what I watch (and you really should), then you'll know where I got the tag-line above from. It's from the most fantastic show, well ever, called Burn Notice. It's about a spy trying to get his life back with the help of his friends and family, while doing seriously illegal things to the low-life hoodlums and thugs of the City of Miami. Sexy, smart, and violent, it's really what TV was invented for.

Oh, did I mention, it co-stars Bruce Campbell as a heavy drinking, former Navy SEAL. I guess that's all you really needed to know.

(And, his movie, My Name is Bruce, will be out on DVD and Blu-Ray on February 10th.)

"To hell with secrecy and to hell with you."

I know I haven't touched this governor thing, but something has been bothering me, so I'll try to make this quick.

Mr. Blagojevich - Guilty? As sin - probably. However, we as a people would be fooling ourselves something fierce if we were to believe removing him from office would do anything to end corruption here in Illinois.

What do I mean? - The rule of our government is much like a multi-headed snake, a lernaean hydra, if you will. Getting rid of the governor would only serve to remove one head and leave the body, as well as the remaining heads (A spineless judiciary and an absurdly ineffectual, consistently bickering, and power-mad legislature), in one piece and as corrupt as ever.

Clinton Redux? - The comedian Lewis Black has a line about the impeachment of Bill Clinton on his The White Album that states, "If you wanna' get somebody who's an asshole, you don't hire a bigger asshole. 'Cause then, the bigger asshole makes the asshole look like it's just a rectum." Now, I don't know much about the impeachment prosecutor personally, but I do know that his name is...

David Ellis - Who, in what I have to be sure was a God-induced matter of coincidence, happens to be counsel for Michael Madigan, the speaker of the Illinois house, the biggest vocal opponent of Blagojevich, and father of Lisa Madigan, Illinois Attorney General, vocal opponent of Blagojevich, and possible future candidate for Governor of Illinois. He also happens to be a celebrated novelist whose latest novel is now out in paperback. He even has a MySpace.

What does this say? - Nothing with any more proof than they have on Blagojevich, but it sure does look like they're trying to fuck the system while all of us watch and applaud.

My point? - It's a big top circus under the dome, where the center ring is a kangaroo court, led by the corrupt, prosecutes the corrupt for corruption, and all of it happens while the media cums on itself.

In the end, it seems like Illinoisans are always going to have choose their politicians by their corruption. But, which is worse? The politician corrupted by the those the like of Big Pharma, allowing them to gouge the public for their pills, or the politician who uses corruption to fight for the people against those the like of Big Pharma and tries to better the standard of living for everybody in his state.

It's a choice, luckily, nobody will ever have to make, because we live in the United States and only one of those two kinds of people can afford to talk to us.

My Dog Will F'n Knife You.

"Move punk. I dare you."

Actually, he was on his way to an after-party for that Notorious movie. I'm sure he was cool.

Moving on from news that surprises no one, let me tell you about this fantastic dream I had.

I don't know how it started, but for some reason I was on one of the Rock of Love Bus buses, with Robert Downey Jr. who was actually Tony Stark. Now, the weird part about all this was the actual bus, see, it wasn't like the ones on the show, it was in fact much larger, it was one of the robot movers in the movie I, Robot.
So, for a reason I never found out, here I was with Tony Stark and a bunch of random skanks, so far everything sticks to his character, but he was in trouble with the cops, also for a reason I never found out. As I piece this all together the dream jumps, as dreams tend to do, to a hotel where the two of us must escape.
This presented the two of us with a decision, socks or bare-feet. "What for?" you ask? Well, which would be better suited for the Parkour we would be using to escape our would-be jailers. The answer, as it turns out, was neither, but equal. I went with socks which proved to useful at sliding across slick surfaces, but not so much at gaining the traction needed for jumps, which led to me smacking my head off of stuff a few times. Tony, who went with bare-feet, was able to avoid a lot of the physical harm, but moved slower because of it.
It was all moot anyways because, as we reached the outside of the hotel with cops swarming in full cinematic effect, I was now wearing shoes and a black running suit (like Rod Blagojevich) and running to draw the cops attention so Tony could get away. I accomplished that and managed to get them off of my tail by circling the base of a large tree while they passed. Dumb, dumb cops.
Next thing I knew, the dream had jumped again and the two of us were in the back row of a real bus travelling through the New Mexico desert and coming upon a futuristic looking building. As the bus makes a stop, we look to our left at the two passengers getting off, both female. One was Jennifer Connelly (as herself) and the other was Liv Tyler (as herself), and, since both played the same character in the different Hulk Movies, I point them out and Tony goes, "I know."
Then I woke up.

I have no idea what any of this means, but I might make a doctor go hunting for some tumors.

"To race and ethnicity, and not knowing the difference between the two."

I'd like to take a moment and focus on not promoting my book, Faith (Which you totally should buy), but instead talk about something else I love (but for your sake do not produce), music.

Or, more specifically, I'd like to bring attention to, pimp-out if you will, a friend's podcast, The Know Nothing Music Show. I know I'm being a whore here, but it's a good place to learn about some of the more under-the-radar music out there (I should know, the majority of local bands have been suggested by me, and until someone else gets 3, I'm sticking to that) and apparently, starting this week, audio equipment. It's a good mix, and, to spread my legs even wider here, it's kept entertaining by a certain someone who keeps prostituting my website over there. It's mutual sucky-fucky and they should use that as a positive review for their site.

The Know Nothing Music Show: It's mutual sucky-fucky.

And, more on the podcast front, if you want to know where the inspiration for the quote in the title came from, look up the 7am hour of Tuesday's Drex in the Morning Radio Show on iTunes and listen to the discussion about mixed-race children. The highlights range from a girl thinking the Dred Scott decision happened sometime between 1930 and 1960, to absolutely no one understanding that Irish is not a race, but an ethnicity. Otherwise, I'd be just like Halle Berry and hated by Ann Coulter too.

"OHMYGOD! Are his tits not fantastic?"

"Hehhhhh. They totally are."

So, I guess the best thing about Tuesday was a non-felon being barred from the Senate for not meeting their ethical standards. Shit, these are the same people who gave Ted Stevens (R-Alaska, soon to be Federal Penitentiary) a standing ovation after he lost his bid for reelection, which was after he was convicted of his crimes and refused to give up his seat, so, Mr. Burris needs to step up his game if he ever wants to win the respect of these fine, upstanding people.

No. I take that back. The best thing about Tuesday was the release of Frisky Dingo Season 2. If you don't know what that is, I can't explain it to you, just pick up Season 1 with Season 2 and watch them chronologically. They're, like, $15 bucks a piece for subversive humor at its finest.

"Go on, Moonrock."

Happy New Years (Yeah. There were two.)

Some thoughts and lessons:

Let's Play Two - Actually, a bad idea. Two New Year observances seem like a good idea, and they still may be, just not when they're six hours apart. You'll never make the second one, trust me, I saw an Irishman tap.

Blitzed by Six - Yes. The entertainment was.

Man on Man Action - Really. Really makes the wife mad.

McDonald's - Must be serving clown meat. It explains so much, like the fact that their hamburger, cheeseburger, and McDouble all sell for the same price.

Ethnic Insensitivity - Apparently still OK, as long as its directed at the Italians.

Self Insensitivity - To continue from above, due to my Italian heritage, long hair, and pointed ears, I've taken to referring to myself as Dagolas.

Home by Ten - Yes. Everyone was.

Bloody Mary - Tastes better when not made with coarse pepper and when not made off the floor.

Get the fuck out. - Or, why you should never ask an Irishman what Jameson's is, especially when he's buying you a shot of it.

McDonald's Redux - Or, how to not have common sense. If you're opening late, but don't want to serve breakfast, I understand that. However, if you cut breakfast off at 10:30 on a normal day, don't fucking open at 10 and talk to me like I'm stupid for wanting a Southern Style Chicken Biscuit, just open at 10:30 and make it easier on us all.

Illnesses - I have one, but I took some blue pills I found in my nightstand, hallucinated, and laughed. I don't feel any better though.

Listen To - Brendan Loughrey, for he was the entertainment of the evening and entertaining he was.

Buy - My book. Pretty, pretty please.

As we toasted to last evening,

Here's to 2010.

Cheers.