I'm sorry.

Words fail me. (NSFW)

Get Yours Before New Moon is Released!

This is absolutely the smartest idea ever (Yes, it sparkles). Fuck landing on the moon. Fuck curing polio. This will make more money than Jesus playing blackjack drunk. If only they would of thought to put a razor blade on this thing, that way, wannabe goth girls (and boys!) would never have to leave their homes and the world would be at peace. It ships 09-01-09.

In music (that doesn't make you want to paint your wrists red), listen to Cobalt & the Hired Guns. It's kind of folksy, kind of poppy, and kind of rock. In other words; It's kind of good. Their double single, appropriately titled The Double Single is available for free here. (Really. Download it. If only for the song You Left Your Sweater...)

Me? I'm listening to German pop music. I think it explains everything.

I'm losing my shit. God, this is fun.

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Now playing: Wir Sind Helden - Guten Tag

via FoxyTunes

"I'm kind of lazy and I kind of stink, but I'll clean myself up for you".

There are some things in this world, granted most (including this) are grossly immature, that I can't help but just... laugh uncontrollably at. Things like the Cock Shot (NSFW: Language):

Cock Shot from Invisible Engine

There's more great stuff from these guys on their websites, specifically Stole My Dick (NSFW: Language/Imagery) and Irish Rover: A St. Paddy's Day Brogue (Half-way Day - One Month), for you to check out, even if some of it is kind of old.

Now, I feel like I'm almost expected to do this (but I hope I'm not):

!FREE MUSIC!

Today I bring you, courtesy of their Blogger page, The Outbreaks and their 5-song EP Places.

MySpace/Facebook/PureVolume

Released in 2006, this Chicago band uses this release to showcase their prowess in piano-driven melodies and catchier than catchy hooks. Soaring choruses (See: She's a Fembot) more than help this album succeed where it was supposed to: To drive up interest in a new full-length, which, unfortunately, hasn't been released, but, fortunately, is coming soon. Still, since you are probably going to be hearing this for the first time, look at things this way - If you had downloaded this back in 2006, you'd be a lot more upset that the LP hasn't arrived yet.

Actually, scratch that. I just started listening and I'm already upset.

Download Places by The Outbreaks:

High Quality (320kbps)

Low Quality (128kbps)

Happy Birthday, Mom.

You feel your grip loosening, finger by finger, and every thought that should be telling you to hold on is mocking you, letting you know that it's your fault, and yours alone, that you ended up in this position. The worse part of it all is, at that point, you're still miles away from bottom.

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Now playing: The Bouncing Souls - Hopeless Romantic
via FoxyTunes

"I'm a kid who's got a lot of problems. If I throw a brick maybe the brick will go and solve them."

Actually, the link in the title has nothing to do with what I want to talk about, but it just fit so perfectly.

To music, a live show I'm highly recommending:

Saturday, August 15th - The Righteous Hillbillies

• South Island Park, Wilmington, IL from 2:00 to 3:30

WHY? Well, the band, plus the location, should tell you all you need to know. If it doesn't then allow me to break it down; This will be, for all intensive purposes, a biker rally. It's a run for those "over there", sponsored by Operation: MOMS (Men/Women of Military Service) Cookies Inc., NFP, that's centered around a 50 mile ride starting on South Kedzie in Chicago and ending in the park. There, people will be treated to live music, a bean bag tourney, pig roast, contests, raffles, and apparently there's still more to come. If you're into this kind of thing, then there's no excuse to miss this. If you aren't, well, come down to be part of a good cause.

Second Chance: Chris Flood, The Righteous Hillbillies, and John Condron & the Benefit @ The Elbow Room in Chicago on September 3rd.

Third Chance: The Righteous Hillbillies @ Chicago St. Pub in Joliet, IL on September 4th.

And, to keep this short, some Cd's you should also check out.

The Micah Walk Band - Bright Side Fantasy

Aimee Allen - A Little Happiness (Yes. I got my hands on it. The next day.)

Rick Shea - Shelter Valley Blues

And, of course, one for free:

Various Artists - Paper + Plastick Sampler, Volume 2

Oh, and yes. I had a very good birthday, in fact, it ranked among the top ones ever and I think I'm the only one who knows why.

He seemed uncanny, almost, in his ability to take even the worse events with a grain of salt. He liked to say that he had to store something in his many wounds.

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Now playing: Rancid - I Wanna Riot
via FoxyTunes