"He plays on like he doesn't know that it's killing me. Yeah. To the end, I keep hearing the devil's strings."

You know what everybody can get behind? Some unreasonable and unintelligible yelling, that's what. Now, let's also pretend that we're protesting something important, let's say some sketchy, no-bid government contracts handed over to the friends of those we elected.

What? Too complicated?

Alright. Let's go with health care instead. But, we have to make sure we get really loud about this. I mean screaming to you see colors type of loud, and we should work in clear references to Communism...

And subtle references to the Nazi's...

And don't forget, the pinkos elected a color to the white house, so let's remember to keep the racism tasteful...

In the end, please remember that this is all grassroots and we do this for the people, like us, who have gotten the short end of the stick called life.

OK. Enough with the impossible attempt at conveying sarcasm over the Internet, this is serious. I understand this is America and we all have the right to protest, but Jesus, could you Tea-Partiers just shut the hell up for a minute and listen?

First and foremost, you are not grassroots, at least you aren't any more. You are now being manipulated by groups such as Americans for Prosperity and FreedomWorks into yelling and fighting against programs that are being developed to help those who can't afford the rising cost of health care stave off death for a few more years. The irony of which, seeing these protest on television, these programs would be life savers to the many of those protesting against it.

Now, I'm well aware that this is a rash generalization and that there are many who don't fit into this mold, that there are actually some people protesting against the idea of a larger government and some people trying to project their ideals onto the country. (Unfortunately, a lot of the latter being whitey's irrational fear of blackie.) But, even for those people, it might be a good idea to look into who you're actually protesting for.

It's as easy as looking into the main media outlet for organization and news coverage of these protests; Fox News Channel. It's almost a sad cliché at this point and I must be the millionth person to say this, but this is indicative of textbook Republican Party strategy and they're using it to make sure the people attending these events are as unruly as possible in a propagandistic move to make Americans scared of those only trying to help them. Many of you are Republicans, some of you are not, but all of you are pawns.

Pawns of two different groups, the first of which being Americans for Prosperity - we will just refer to them as "Big Oil". Big Oil (and, by which I mean the company behind Americans for Prosperity - Koch Industries), besides organizing Tea Party Protests in Dallas-Fort Worth and Washington D.C., has done a lot to get itself into trouble recently. From subsidiaries having to pay massive fines for oil spills and environmental law breaking, to the actually company settling a law suit with the federal government for what amounts to stealing oil from Indian lands. The actually guy in charge of Americans for Prosperity, Tim Phillips, was a former parter in Century Strategies, and the easiest way for me to show why this is important is just to link one name; Jack Abramoff. Now, I'm sure your asking; "What does Big Oil have against government sponsored health care?" It's actually an easily answerable question - just visit Patients United Now for answers straight from Big Oil's mouth. If you don't believe what they tell you there (And, God knows I wouldn't blame you) then it probably has something to do with our next organization.

FreedomWorks, is a non-profit based out Washington D.C. and is chaired by former U.S. Representative, Dick Armey. (Ignore the juvenile jokes about tea parties, tea bags and Dick Armey, please. David Schuster already beat you to it.) To keep this short, the area of FreedomWorks that you need to pay attention to is the company its chairman's former lobbying firm represents, and that would be pharmaceutical company Bristol-Myers Squibb. I can't imagine they would have a problem with drug prices in this country being contained to a reasonable level, can you?

The point is, these are the same old wolves from the last time this country tried to fix health care only now they're wearing a different sheep's clothing. What's saddest of all is they're scaring the people who could use these changes the most to protest against them, so these companies can keep up the status quo and continue legally robbing the sick of this country blind. I'm not saying you can't protest, and I'm not saying you shouldn't protest this subject, but do it on your own merits and not on those who couldn't care less about you, those who can afford health insurance, those who would crush you if you accidentally got in their way. These Tea Parties are not your friends, they are the same people who've looked upon with disdain and disgust for years. Don't say I didn't try to warn you.

That was the day I decided I didn't want to try anymore.

----------------
Now playing: Karl Larsson - Devil's Strings
via FoxyTunes

"OHMYGOD! This. But, I'm riding a dragon."

Time to talk about some of my ol' favorites and the new things they are begetting/creating.

We'll start in television and that means my favorite show ever to be on the air, Frisky Dingo. For those of you who may not have heard of it or those of you who have no idea what it was about, let me post a screen capture from the commercial for the season two dvd. I think what follows should tell you all you need to know.

If it looks familiar it's probably because it was made by the same people who did Sealab 2021 (another super fantastic show) - 70/30 Productions. Now, the sad news is 70/30 went belly up and Frisky Dingo ended with a cliff hanger that we may never know the resolution to. The good news is; We get a distraction, in the form of a new Fx Original series tentatively called Archer.

Created by Adam Reed, Archer is a comedy set around an international spy code-named Duchess. With an animation style similar to what was done with Sealab, Dingo, and its spin-off The X-tacles (Also great, but only two episodes were ever made), and placing it on a network spin-off channel instead of in-network spin-off channel, leads me to believe that this could be great. Fx has ordered six episodes and it's set to launch this fall.

Also coming to Fx: Louie by Louis C.K.

In music: Two of the absolutely most fantastic local bands have been quietly bringing themselves back to life.

John Condron & the Benefit: MySpace/Facebook

Click on an Album to Purchase

As far as the Benefit aspect goes - they've added a new member. Jeff Julian, most recently from Deconstructing Jim, has signed on and is sure to give the band's sound a new dynamic. And, music, well, after what has seemed like forever, the band is set to release their new 12-track Cd, Eleventh Hour Grace, this fall. I've heard a few tracks off it live already, and, trust me, this is going to be a must have.

The Righteous Hillbillies: MySpace/Facebook

Click Album to Purchase/Here to Download

For you instrument nerds out there, the hillbillies have updated their website and, on top of new artwork, photos, and show information, they have started to post in-studio updates of the recording of their new record. This in-depth stuff; I'm not just talking about the hangover and puke stories (surprisingly unrelated), but also the amount of detail they go into describing the use of instruments, amps, and the reason for the different microphone placements. If you're into the technical side of recording a record, this is some good stuff. If you're like me, however, and just like the pretty sounds and the pretty colors it makes you see (wha... wait. Nevermind.) know that I've also heard some of their new stuff live, and I have a feeling this album will be better than their last, which is really saying something.

Speaking of live - See them Thursday, September 3rd with John Condron & the Benefit at the Elbo Room in Chicago OR Friday, September 4th by themselves at Chicago St. Pub in Joliet OR if you're feeling really special, they open for The Charlie Daniels Band Thursday, October 1st at The Rialto Square Theatre in Joliet.

For Free:

Click Album for Free Download

Deano Waco - Deano Meets the Purveyors

Coming from the Chicago country band The Waco Brothers, guitarist Deano Schlabowske brings you 14 free tracks with Austin's The Meat Purveyors. It's folk with country, some electric guitars, a pinch of hyper-bluegrass, and topped with sensitive song-writing. In short; it's a mess, a beautiful, beautiful mess.

"The best way to describe it? Picture yourself on an empty highway, zooming along at, lets say, ninety. You see a curve ahead, a slight curve, no need to reduce your speed, and you ease into it with no worries at all. Sounds great, right? Now, picture yourself coming out of this turn to see a brick wall blocking all the lanes, including yours, your only hope is to slam on the brakes and pray to God you stop - that's the best way I can describe it."

----------------
Now playing: The Righteous Hillbillies - Love Burns Cold
via FoxyTunes

I'm sorry.

Words fail me. (NSFW)

Get Yours Before New Moon is Released!

This is absolutely the smartest idea ever (Yes, it sparkles). Fuck landing on the moon. Fuck curing polio. This will make more money than Jesus playing blackjack drunk. If only they would of thought to put a razor blade on this thing, that way, wannabe goth girls (and boys!) would never have to leave their homes and the world would be at peace. It ships 09-01-09.

In music (that doesn't make you want to paint your wrists red), listen to Cobalt & the Hired Guns. It's kind of folksy, kind of poppy, and kind of rock. In other words; It's kind of good. Their double single, appropriately titled The Double Single is available for free here. (Really. Download it. If only for the song You Left Your Sweater...)

Me? I'm listening to German pop music. I think it explains everything.

I'm losing my shit. God, this is fun.

----------------

Now playing: Wir Sind Helden - Guten Tag

via FoxyTunes

"I'm kind of lazy and I kind of stink, but I'll clean myself up for you".

There are some things in this world, granted most (including this) are grossly immature, that I can't help but just... laugh uncontrollably at. Things like the Cock Shot (NSFW: Language):

Cock Shot from Invisible Engine

There's more great stuff from these guys on their websites, specifically Stole My Dick (NSFW: Language/Imagery) and Irish Rover: A St. Paddy's Day Brogue (Half-way Day - One Month), for you to check out, even if some of it is kind of old.

Now, I feel like I'm almost expected to do this (but I hope I'm not):

!FREE MUSIC!

Today I bring you, courtesy of their Blogger page, The Outbreaks and their 5-song EP Places.

MySpace/Facebook/PureVolume

Released in 2006, this Chicago band uses this release to showcase their prowess in piano-driven melodies and catchier than catchy hooks. Soaring choruses (See: She's a Fembot) more than help this album succeed where it was supposed to: To drive up interest in a new full-length, which, unfortunately, hasn't been released, but, fortunately, is coming soon. Still, since you are probably going to be hearing this for the first time, look at things this way - If you had downloaded this back in 2006, you'd be a lot more upset that the LP hasn't arrived yet.

Actually, scratch that. I just started listening and I'm already upset.

Download Places by The Outbreaks:

High Quality (320kbps)

Low Quality (128kbps)

Happy Birthday, Mom.

You feel your grip loosening, finger by finger, and every thought that should be telling you to hold on is mocking you, letting you know that it's your fault, and yours alone, that you ended up in this position. The worse part of it all is, at that point, you're still miles away from bottom.

----------------
Now playing: The Bouncing Souls - Hopeless Romantic
via FoxyTunes

"I'm a kid who's got a lot of problems. If I throw a brick maybe the brick will go and solve them."

Actually, the link in the title has nothing to do with what I want to talk about, but it just fit so perfectly.

To music, a live show I'm highly recommending:

Saturday, August 15th - The Righteous Hillbillies

• South Island Park, Wilmington, IL from 2:00 to 3:30

WHY? Well, the band, plus the location, should tell you all you need to know. If it doesn't then allow me to break it down; This will be, for all intensive purposes, a biker rally. It's a run for those "over there", sponsored by Operation: MOMS (Men/Women of Military Service) Cookies Inc., NFP, that's centered around a 50 mile ride starting on South Kedzie in Chicago and ending in the park. There, people will be treated to live music, a bean bag tourney, pig roast, contests, raffles, and apparently there's still more to come. If you're into this kind of thing, then there's no excuse to miss this. If you aren't, well, come down to be part of a good cause.

Second Chance: Chris Flood, The Righteous Hillbillies, and John Condron & the Benefit @ The Elbow Room in Chicago on September 3rd.

Third Chance: The Righteous Hillbillies @ Chicago St. Pub in Joliet, IL on September 4th.

And, to keep this short, some Cd's you should also check out.

The Micah Walk Band - Bright Side Fantasy

Aimee Allen - A Little Happiness (Yes. I got my hands on it. The next day.)

Rick Shea - Shelter Valley Blues

And, of course, one for free:

Various Artists - Paper + Plastick Sampler, Volume 2

Oh, and yes. I had a very good birthday, in fact, it ranked among the top ones ever and I think I'm the only one who knows why.

He seemed uncanny, almost, in his ability to take even the worse events with a grain of salt. He liked to say that he had to store something in his many wounds.

----------------
Now playing: Rancid - I Wanna Riot
via FoxyTunes

"I'm honestly trying. I act like I'm here. It's really hard to care. For there's a thin line between your wit, and your whining."

New Music Tuesday

Now, here's where I would tell you all about the sheer amazingness that is Aimee Allen's new album, A Little Happiness, which was released today after a slight delay. The key word there is would. As in, I would tell you had the workers at Best Buy #307 not been complete morons and had their bosses above them know how to run a store.

Suffice to say, their website said it would be at the store, their website still says that it's at the store, but, apparently, everybody in the Joliet metro area had rushed out to buy an album from an artist that, when brought up to every worker in the store, only I had heard about and I was out of luck. Though, they said they'll probably get more in, probably this week.

*Insert Jerk-off Hand Gesture Here*

Whatever guys. I'm an expert when it comes to working retail and I'm well versed in the get the hell away from me, I've got my own problems to deal with answers. I will get the CD by the end of the week though, it's the principle of the matter now.

So, in its stead, I bring you another great, albeit completely different, album, By the Throat by Eyedea & Abilities.

Purchase:
Fifth Element, iTunes, Amazon

This is rap, thrown down over crunching guitars, which are then taken to a turntable to be intricately scratched. It's a welcomed relief from auto-tune, excessive sampling, and anything else that one would consider main stream crap. It's also a welcomed, and slightly strange, divergence from their last album, E&A.

What once relied on home-made beats and traditional hip-hop instrumentation, is now experimenting with the piano, guitars, and an amount of distortion that could make Jack White orgasm. And, that's only half of what these guys do. The other half, the lyrics, are a dramatic departure as well.

When one would listen to E&A he could gather the belief that Eyedea knew exactly what he was better than everybody else in the whole wide world at and was left with the knowledge, not that he may be right, but that he was absolutely right about it. He made damn sure to let the world know that he was the best, but in a way that didn't make him seem cocky or douche-ish, but, instead, confident and refreshing.

On By the Throat, however, his lyrics have taken on a more personal and emotional touch, balancing the two in a way that will, now and forever, make every whiny new emo band sound impossibly more whiny. Now, he's less concerned with making everyone know what he does and more concerned with how he feels about topics ranging from heartbreak, to fame, to gun violence and, the most peculiar, doubt. One more refreshing departure from the shallow topics that have inundated mainstream rap for many years.

Because of the combination of both Eyedea and Abilities, the album doesn't ever seem to drag. When Eyedea stops rapping you become engrossed with what Abilities is going to with the turntables next and when he quiets it down, Eyedea picks right back up with a rhyme that you're going to need the lyrics sheets to follow, not because it's hard to understand, but because he throws a lot at you in a short amount of time. Which actually leads to the one minor detraction of this album; Some of the songs seem to end a little prematurely, and only slightly in the way that leaves you wanting more.

Below are some tracks that I must recommend for legally downloading if this sounds interesting to you, however I feel you'd only be cheating yourself if you didn't go out and get this album. It really works well when listened to as a whole.

Go Get:

Spin Cycle/Junk/Smile/By the Throat

For Free:

This Story

I can't keep doing this. I can't keep on believing that my head will, one day, finally break through this damn brick wall.

"What it is, is a sickness, what it is, is regret. And, I may be dying, but I'm not dead yet."

Aside from the title, we're taking a break from music and taking a trip to the movies. When? I don't have any idea because the movie doesn't have a release date yet, but it does have a trailer. Oh. And it has a title, The Slammin' Salmon and it was made by the same people who brought you Super Troopers and Beerfest, a.k.a. Broken Lizard. They also made Club Dread, but I, apparently, was one of, maybe, four people who actually enjoyed that film.


The plot revolves around a one night contest between the staff (played by the Broken Lizard crew, Cobie Smulders and April Bowlby) and laid down by the Yakuza-indebted, former heavy weight boxing champion and current owner/boss, "Slammin" Cleon Salmon (Michael Clark Duncan). The winner receives $10,000 and the loser, for the sake of argument, dies by excessive ass beating (getting in the ring with Cleon).

What follows is sure to be utter insanity as the staff must deal, not only, with themselves and their own problems, but also with the uncommonly insane restaurant problems (most notably the Lone Diner). Everything is sure to come unglued and then go downhill as the hours pass by and each member of the staff does whatever it takes to avoid having to get into the ring with their boss, The Slammin' Salmon.

Coming up next is the trailer, it is a red band trailer, so, you know, viewer discretion is being advised.

I'd say that I'm taking some time to take stock of what it is that I am, and should be, doing, but it's all semantics. Really. I could just as easily say that I have absolutely no idea what the hell is going on and it would all be the honest truth.