I think I stubbed my toe on a box....

The reason being?

We're moving. If you've been reading this and would like to continue doing so than please go here.

Thank You,

The Management.

"This is life at a pace that will crush us all right back to where we began."

When I grow older, much older than I feel at this moment, I have but one request for the man I shall become; Study Andy Rooney.

OMG! Yes. If you've never seen any of his segments on 60 Minutes then you, my friends, are missing out. His ability to ramble on about the most random and senseless thoughts is simply unmeasurable, if only because he's creating the scale all future pointless diatribes will be based on.

I only mention this because I saw his newest one today and it was about the weather. More specifically on the fact that we can't control it. And, by that I mean, he was actually speaking to the audience like it was life shattering news that humans can't control the weather, which, speaking for myself, was news that completely altered my life. You can read the transcript here, but doing so will only leave you with the question I've been pondering all night;

WHO THE FUCK IS SUSIE?

Not that I actually care, this is just a mental exercise. Preparation for the mind done in the hope that if I do it often enough, maybe just maybe, when the time comes, that I will be just like Andy Rooney. With quotes you can beautifully take out of context, like; I just wish we knew a little less about his urethra and a little more about his arms sales to Iran. Why wouldn't I want to be?

I wonder if he likes music like I do? If he does then he should really check out Greenland is Melting and their album Our Hearts are Gold, Our Grass is Blue. It's a folk record with great harmonies and arrangements that you can just find yourself getting lost into. And, yes. This one is free to download from Paper + Plastick, so long as you don't consider your email address to be currency. If you do, then tune in next week as Andy Rooney rambles on about your severe case of stupidity.

Free Download

You're the sweetest girl I've ever met. Perfect in every way. Those stupid things you do, the horrible decisions you make, they don't bother me at all. So, don't take the fact that I'm removing you from my life personally. Justify it the way I do; Convince yourself that there's something horribly wrong with me.

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Download: Greenland is Melting - No More Sorry Songs
via Greenland is Melting

"Circling the Dairy Queen while jacked-up rides idle at me."

First of all, for the purpose of this post and your general entertainment, please, watch this:

Did it sink in?

That answer isn't important, I'm still going to go over the anatomy of a riot. Why? 'Cause this, my friends, was no riot.

Paging Dr. UT Pussy. Get your shit together! You gotta crawl before you can walk kids. This was not rioting at a college level, this wasn't even rioting on any level. What this was, was a fun run, a sing along, and an unauthorized campfire. Let's get this straight; To even be considered a riot, personal property must be unwillingly destroyed (setting your own mattress ablaze does not count), cars must be flipped, and the "athletic" police officers (if not National Guard members) must be deployed, in full on riot gear to quell your uprising. This just gets an F for presentation and an F for effort. Go back and repeat Rioting 101 again, we'll hire a new professor for you.

I'm not kidding either. I attended a Jr. College, A JUNIOR COLLEGE, that lit a couch on fire in the stairwell of the dorms just for the hell of it. You don't impress us, hundred-thousand dollar university.

What impresses me? John K. Samson, the leader of The Weakerthans, and his little, three song solo record, City Route 85.

Pretty. I'll soon have it on a t-shirt.

Yes. This is short and if you're unfamiliar with his work you may be a little hesitant to shell out the six bucks for the vinyl (no CD). That's understandable, but you'll really be doing a disservice to yourself if you don't go out and at least download the other two songs from a reputable dealer. (Track 3 is provided for you below, gratis, from The Weakerthans' website.) Samson is an amazing word-smith, singer and guitarist, and these three songs are the perfect example to what he does best.

*NOTE: If you do purchase the record, the first 500 come as white vinyl. I don't know if this is sold out yet, mine hasn't arrived.

This city seems content to tempt fate and avoid burning itself to the ground on a nightly basis.

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Download: John K. Samson - Cruise Night
via FoxyTunes

"It was ego who was flying the banner for me and Mia, Ann and Ana."

See? I told you stupidity would hold a special place in this blog as I moved beyond music. Oh, well. If this is what I want...

J.C. Penny, department store extraordinaire, has produced a line that, even I, find questionable in its branding. If you've been in any of their stores lately and have a mind like I do, then it shouldn't be too hard to figure out which one I'm talking about, it hit me right in the face as I walked in. But, if I must spell it out:

a.n.a. - A New Approach

First off, let me say that the name itself is a flat-out, fucking lie. Ana is not a new approach. In fact, it's so not new that there are a number of support groups out there to help people dealing with the affliction.

No. But, kudos to the marketing team for sliding that little turn of phrase in there. Nothing like the inside joke of naming your women's clothing company after an illness that many of your target audience develops because of the models wearing your product. It's so wonderously circular, it's quite amazing that someone could find this not a good idea.

In the grand scheme of things, I don't actually care and I'd never call for a ban or a boycott. I find it hard to believe that people are starving themselves to fit into J.C. Penny clothes, but it's still tasteless nonetheless. Seriously. It'd be like a calling a summer retreat for A.D.D. stricken Jewish kids Camp Concentration.

Body image is a dangerous thing to fuck around with, especially when it comes to the young people out there, but maybe I'm the only one reading too much into this. Who knows? Maybe I am, but if an idiot like me can make the connection, that means one young girl can too. But, what's one person in the grand scheme of personal fortune?

You really don't want me to answer that.

Yeah. Sometimes, though I'd never admit, certain things hit a little too close to home.

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Now playing: Ted Leo and the Pharmacists - Me And Mia
via FoxyTunes

'Last one out of the city, burn it down."

Hopefully, with it being a new year (or, so I've been told), this little corner of the nobody-readsasphere will get updated with a little more regularity. I know I have no one to blame but myself for this, and for that I will give myself the requisite forty-lashes. Unless you'd prefer a good, ol' fashioned Singapore caning - I can do that, but somebody is going to have to provide said cane.

Anyways, with this first post of the new year, I'd like to add a couple of local Chicago bands and their albums to the list I made in the last post of the old year. The reason for this being; I heard them too damn late. One album arrived at my door on New Years Eve and the other I downloaded the very last day it was available for free. (Sorry. I felt like I needed to rub that in.) After listening to both extensively I feel like they probably would of made my top 10 list, but that's the extent of it. I'm not going to try and figure out where they belong and who gets knocked out, I don't care that much for pointless lists. Instead, I'm just going to call them numbers 10.2 & 10.3.

#10.3) The Rikters - The Rikters

This album as gotten shit from other people and it's quite undeserved. Yes. It seems to be stuck somewhere in mid-tempo for most of it, but, if you can get past that, you'll find a beautifully rocking album full of love and lost.


#10.2) Kid, You'll Move Mountains - Loomings

I don't know why I hadn't heard of this band or album. The simple description; melodic indie rock filled with clever lyrics sung with cohesive male/female vocals. The complicated; Buy it & come up with one yourself.


There you go, with that done, be on the lookout for more posts on varying topics, anywhere from the educated and artistic circle of society to plain, unadulterated stupidity. Trust me when I say there will probably be a lot more posts on one of those subjects than the others.

Oh! And special thanks to Leon from The Gasoline Brothers (Their album, Tsk! is available now, for free!), for taking time out of his busy schedule to not only look at this POS site, but to comment on it as well. Let's see Katy Perry or Miley Cyrus do that.

Seriously. I know it sounds sarcastic. But, that would actually be pretty cool if they did that. I'm not too proud to beg.

Let me say first; The person you met that night wasn't me. Physically, it was. Spiritually, I'd already stamped my ticket to hell for a myriad of different reasons. I'll see you there.

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Now playing: Kid, You'll Move Mountains - An Open Letter to Wherever You're From
via FoxyTunes

"This will be a better year."

It's obligimatory list time. Best of's and what not. So, because no one demanded it, the ten albums you should have listened to this year and some EP's as well, since they're cheap (half of them are free to download). Half of these bands are probably unheard of and the other half I've probably already covered, but you'll find that out for yourself as I start with #10 and work my way up.

#10) Brand New - Daisy

Excessively loud rock that is surprisingly contagious and accessible. Not their best effort ever, but still better than a lot of what was released this year.

#09) Aimee Allen - A Little Happiness

Melodic and mellow change of pace for this singer/songwriter. A great voice & just enough touch keeps every track sounding unique, but slightly similar.



#08) Eyedea & Abilities - By the Throat

Not a thing like what was expected from them. Such a great and bold decision by a group who knows what making music should be about.



#07) Killing Jazz - 12 is Enough (Free)

This band no longer exists, but they delivered one hell of a going away gift. This is a really fun jazz/blues album that you'd really should of had to pay for.



#06) The Patinettes - The Patinettes (Free)

A fantastic mixture of surf rock and folk, this is an album to remind you of summer. These Spaniards really nailed an oft-forgotten part of our music.



#05) Chewing on Tinfoil - Get Rich or Try Dyin' (Free)

Ska is being revived again and this is the band leading the charge. A wonderful debut album with a nice bouncing sing-along quality to it.


#04) The Gasoline Brothers - Tsk! (Free)

Indie rock that's all of great and unpretentious. This combination being a nice, strange, and incredibly welcome change of pace to the genre.



#03) Ike Reilly - Hard Luck Stories

Good ol' fashioned rock and roll mixed with a little country. Some of the best musicianship and song writing out there today all on one album.



#02) The Taxpayers - A Rhythm in the Cages (Free)

Punk mixed with folk, a lead singer/screamer that's both melodic and raspy. Everything you could want in an album mixed together perfectly.



#01) Cheap Girls - My Roaring 20's

I figure this should be number one since I've listened to it everyday for two months now. Fuzzy, catchy and beautiful, listen to this and I seriously doubt you won't want to sing along.


EP's (Alphabetical order, clickable = downloadable)

Farewell Continental - Farewell Continental, Hard Girls - Hello, I Fight Dragons - Cool Is Just a Number, The Lawrence Arms - Buttsweat and Tears, The Micah Walk Band - Goodbye, Austin, Oh NO Its POk - Oh NO It's SHITE, Plugs - Rock 'n' Roll Zombie

Here's to 2011.

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Now playing: Harlem Shakes - Strictly Game

via FoxyTunes

"Oh, the North country winters keep a gettin' me now."

For me, hell, or as I like to call it, everyday life, has finally frozen over. I started a Twitter account and, God help me, I'll try to use it in a proper sort of way. I know this is probably a lost cause already, but if you want the chance to read and hear some crazy, off the wall shit, well then add the feed. It won't cost you anything, except your self respect, but if you're reading this then you probably didn't have much to begin with.

Welcome, equal.

Since you are me and I am you and we is us, I'm going to go out on a limb and say you (I?) should listen to this free EP; It's called Rock 'n' Roll Zombie and it's by the French band Plugs.

Free Download

This is pretty straightforward. Four songs. Fourteen minutes. No frills punk rock. It seems like the French are becoming much better at this then us Americans. Don't believe me? Well, download this, and everything Louis Lingg and the Bombs have to offer and get back to me. I won't even wait for you 'cause I already know you'll learn just how right I am.

This is a full-frontal musical assault in the best way possible. Loud, melodic, and I can't understand a word of what the singer is saying (mostly because it's sung in French). Easily the title track is the standout one here, if only for one of the most kick-ass endings to a song to come out in a long while. This, my friends, is what rock 'n' roll should be.

Download it. It's free and it'll only take fifteen minutes of your life, which, if you're anything like me (and we've already established that you are), are fifteen minutes more than well spent.

Speaking of Kick-Ass: A new trailer for the movie, which is based on the comic by Mark Millar, has been posted online. This one features Nicolas Cage shooting a little girl. Movie of the year voting has now been officially closed. Check it out below.

I haven't seen you in forever and this whole meeting was brought upon us by a beautiful failure in communication. So, yes. What you heard was true, I meant every word and my only regret is forgetting to tell you how thankful I was that you didn't hang up on me right then and there. Thank you. Thank you for putting the beautiful into my failure.

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

Now playing: Old Crow Medicine Show - Wagon Wheel
via FoxyTunes